Kicking back, killing time and looking for hookers in Liberty City
We walk away from our first GTA IV hands-on encounter with a hundred stories to tell. The two hours we spent locked away with the game at Rockstar's London HQ was abundant with hilarious, outrageous, explosive and downright unbelievable moments. Highlights included, but were definitely not limited to: sending Niko crashing through the windscreen of a Banshee; trying to lose a six-star wanted level while driving in reverse; and cruising for hookers in Middle Park at night. It's the personal experiences that have always made Grand Theft Auto so great and, consequently, so insanely popular.
The purpose of our hands-on session was to play a few missions, get a feel for the controls and soak up the vibe around Liberty City. We mostly soaked up the vibe. Eager vibe sponges. Between the immense bedrock of detail, the hard-coded chaos and the ebb and flow of everyday metropolis bustle, Rockstar's urban jungle is intoxicating. We were powerless to resist the tempting lure of anarchic opportunity. Too curious to just walk by. We shot civilians. We hauled drivers from their cars. We ran over pedestrians. We did all the anti-social endeavours that any first-time tourist let loose in Liberty City would do.
And GTA quickly worked its time-eating, hypnotic magic. It sucked us in. Headfirst. We start by stealing a car - a plain old Vincent sedan - and before we know it we've spent 20 minutes on an intensive carjacking spree. But it's so much fun. Warmly familiar, yet exhilaratingly fresh at the same time. When the downtime is this enjoyable, who needs missions?
We hammer the Vincent around for a bit. The scenery blurs as we hit a respectable speed. We try the handbrake and discover that it's not quite as amiable as we were expecting. The car spins out of control and slams into a wall. Niko's body shifts and jerks in the seat against the force of the impact. The handbrake feels like it'll take some taming. The windshield is smashed and the front right-side wing is knackered - the bodywork is crumpled and the wheel has buckled violently. The handling is shafted - prior to the wall collision it was lively and responsive, now it feels sluggish and the damaged tyre drags the car off-centre.
Abandoning the Vincent, we search out other vehicles. We slip behind the wheel of a Rancher pick-up, then a backfiring and completely wrecked out Blista Compact, then a meaty-sounding Vigero muscle car, then a sporty metallic blue Banshee with a distinctive black stripe on its bonnet. We're spoilt for choice. All the cars we test-drive handle with varying degrees of satisfaction. The Vigero is a feisty mover, but our absolute bestest beast would have to be our old pal, the fast-as-buck Banshee. It's a dream to drive and now comes with added exhaust-flame popping.
Not content with the recklessness of our driving we try some on-the-move shooting. We squeeze the left bumper button, Niko smashes the car window, sticks out his arm and automatically starts blasting away wildly. There's no auto-targetting when firing in-car, so its effectiveness relies totally on your right stick free-aiming skills. Niko can shoot ahead, to the side and behind. Driving, aiming and shooting at the same time is a fiddly business, but it does look totally gangster. A 'centre camera' option would be good for angle-panning moments like this, but there isn't one.
Understandably, shooting from cars makes the LCPD angry and we quickly pick up cop heat. It's a shame Niko can't just roll with his piece resting out the window without shooting, but still. Evading the police with a one or two star wanted level is a breeze and we easily escape the search radius and give them the slippery finger.
Just as we're anticipating our next move, Niko's cell phone rings. We answer. It's someone called Michelle asking if Niko wants to hang out. The Rockstar rep asks us to decline the invitation. Niko says "I'm kind of in the middle of something. Maybe some other time." Michelle is obviously disappointed. She hangs up. Niko's phone is a busy little bastard, buzzing away at regular intervals. In the time we're exploring we also receive calls from Niko's cousin Roman, small-time Russian heavy Vlad, and dreadlocked gun-dealer Little Jacob. It's quite the social network.
With no particular place to go, but with a real hankering to explore, we pause the game and pull up the map screen. We spot a clothes shop, a Pay 'N' Spray and a safe house. We set a waypoint for the safe house. The GPS displays using the on-screen radar, showing the requested route. It works well and makes finding the destination super easy, although we notice that it strictly adheres to main roads - often ignoring alleyways that would make ideal shortcuts. It also respects one way systems, so while it'll be a great guide, there'll be benefits to completely ignoring its route-planning wisdom.
A blue, innocuous looking person-shaped icon suddenly appears on the radar, the watchful Rockstar rep asks us to avoid going any further along that particular road. We change course and the GPS promptly readjusts accordingly. What's the deal with the icon? Rockstar's not telling, so for now it remains a mystery. Intriguing.
We arrive at the Broker apartment block where the safe house is located and head inside. No loading. Just straight through the door and into a dirty hallway lit by a single, naked bulb. Even in this transient space the level of detail is astounding. We climb the stairs and head into the safe house apartment. Again, no loading. We instantly recognise the place from one of the trailers. It's Roman's apartment and it's an absolute shit hole. A beat-up radio plays an 80s rock classic. Cockroaches scurry about on the floor.
In addition to the save point there's a yellow marker indicating a wardrobe where Niko can change clothes. Apart from the mess, there's not much else to see. Or, rather, there is, but we're given strict instructions not to talk about it. So we're not. Sorry.
Back outside - no loading - we head to the nearby Native Autoparts Pay 'N' Spray. Was it our imagination, or wasn't it suggested that these paint job places weren't going to be in the game? Anyway, they're in and they work exactly as they always have done. The big difference is in the detail. Rather than being an anonymous hole in the wall, it looks like a genuine working garage. We decide to get a re-spray. For old time's sake.
Another incoming call turns our attention back to the cell phone. We dick about scrolling through the menus and sampling different ringtones before being reminded that Niko can use it to
make calls. We dial 911.
An automated response asks us to press 1 for police, 2 for paramedics or 3 for the fire department. We press 1. An LCPD operator comes on the line and asks Niko for his location. He answers, "South Slopes," which is exactly right. Apparently Niko will respond accordingly whatever his location. The operator says an LCPD peacekeeper will be dispatched there as soon as possible. Seconds later we hear the sound of sirens. A police car pulls up carrying two officers. One of them gets out and has a general mooch about to see if anything is amiss. Time for more shooting.
On-foot, we pull out our pistol and auto-target the snooping officer's chest by squeezing the left trigger. Skilfully adjusting our aim with the right stick, we contemplate a head shot, but decide to go for an incapacitating bullet to the foot. BANG. He's down and Niko's earned himself a two star wanted level.
To make things interesting, we purposefully drive toward police locations within the search radius. We're soon the most wanted in a respectably-sized pursuit. During the chase we topple a street light, sending a shower of sparks fizzing across the sidewalk. A fire hydrant fails to get out of our way and we hit it head on. A pillar of water shoots skywards, spraying the camera with splashes of wetness. Even during an intense high-speed pursuit, we're noticing detail. It's relentless.
We wonder how long we can comfortably stay ahead of the pursuing pack when we think we spot a couple of prostitutes lurking on a street corner. Are we allowed to pick them up? Yes we are. We ditch the car and sprint down a nearby alley. We get lucky - the wanted stars are coloured grey, which means Niko's not in the line of sight of any law enforcers. We break into a fresh vehicle and pull away. Perfect. A sneaky car swap and we're in the clear. Now, where's the hookers at...?
Curses. Either we were seeing things or all the prostitutes have disappeared. However, while our search for ladies is fruitless, a motorbike grabs our attention. We liberate the silver Freeway chopper and pull away with its previous owner giving chase on-foot.We notice Niko isn't wearing a crash helmet and discover that he only puts one on (he reaches between his legs to grab one) if he gets on a bike and pauses momentarily before pulling away.
We're gathering some serious speed, admiring the flickering light coming through the elevated train track overhead and remembering how challenging these bikes are to handle when a car pulls out in front of us. Niko goes flying over the hood, skids along the road and under the wheels of an oncoming vehicle. GTA and rag-doll physics is a match made in heaven.
Time's running short and we haven't even touched the missions. But this is the inherently addictive nature of GTA IV. There's always something to grab your attention. There's always something to do. Always something to get you hooked. Liberty City is an incredibly intricate, lavishly detailed, utterly convincing world that exists in a constant state of flux and its impossible not to get willingly swept along.
We accelerate out of an alleyway and nearly send a homeless guy tumbling over the bonnet. He instinctively jumps out of the way... and straight into the path of an oncoming taxi. BOOF. Looks painful. The tramp hauls himself up and - with the intent of a narrow-minded guided missile - heads for the cab driver. Soon the two men are standing in the middle of the road having a full-blown fist fight. Horns blast angrily as cars pile-up behind the stationary taxi. A rusted old banger backfires, spewing a cloud of fumes with a size-20 carbon footprint.
Just seconds earlier the street was an idyllic picture of city calm. But we clumsily sparked the fuse and now it's in a state of exponential uproar. "Y'all need to wake up - aliens is among us!" shouts a passer-by in Niko's direction. With the mellow sound of cocktail jazz filling the car, we gently pull away, leaving the commotion to disappear behind us. We could've happily sat and watched the chaotic scene continue to unfold, but we've got places to go, people to see...
GTA IV is overwhelming. In the 120 minutes we've been kicking back, doing absolutely nothing in particular at all, it's kept us constantly entertained. It's thrown more snapshot moments at us than most games struggle to conjure in their entirety. And the majority of it has been unscripted. Just spontaneous madness. This experience has been exclusive to us. These are
our stories.
But by far the biggest story isn't anything so self-indulgent as recounting personal experience. It's about the Big Picture. It's about how Rockstar appears to have created something far more satisfying and accomplished than we'd ever dared hope. It's about how - come April 29 - Rockstar looks poised to launch another megaton rocket up the puckered kazoo of the gaming industry. It's about how, like its criminally-minded predecessors, Grand Theft Auto IV is primed to be the new yardstick by which other sandbox games are measured and the new template that others will try to imitate. Yes, GTA IV looks ready to kick ass. And there's still so much we haven't seen. We are wet with excitement.